Tonight's Poet Corner: Mint, Coconut, and Peanut Butter

Mint, Coconut, and Peanut Butter
by Belinda Roddie

A Girl Scout came to my house one day
and sweetly rang the bell. As soon as I spotted
the green sash, the knee-high socks, and the
adorable little beret, I was off my couch in a flash,
leaving the Mario Party game I was sharing
with my friends behind. I opened the door
to hear the nine-to-ten-year-old girl ask,

"Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?"

Would you like to buy
some Girl Scout cookies.
Would you.
Like to.
Buy.
Cookies.
Great.
Cookies.
Cook-aaaaaaaaays.

I blinked once. Then twice. Then folded my arms
across my purple flannel, slightly salsa-stained
shirt, eyeing the noble little cookie trooper
cautiously as she hovered in anticipation
on my porch, the obligatory red wagon
squeaking beneath the weight of her
treasure - countless neon boxes of
mint, coconut, and peanut butter goodness
that waited to be torn into and emptied
in about a half hour. And I, very calmly,
not accusatorily, or cruelly, replied,

"Honey, is that even a question? That is not
even a question. That, my dear, is what
you call rhetorical. Yes, I would like
to buy some Girl Scout cookies. I would like
to pay five dollars each for at least a dozen
boxes. Heck, I would buy your whole darn wagon
if I didn't need the money to pay rent. Wait right here,
let me get my wallet, and let me fish out so much green
that your uniform will pale in comparison."

Let's just say that the video game session
was garnished beautifully with sugar, and the Girl Scout
trotted off with at least eighteen boxes fewer
in her cart, whistling a tune of both glee
and incredulity as she disappeared from my window,
zigzagging down the street while I brushed the crumbs
of shortbread sweetness off my jeans.