Saturday's Storyteller: "The magic word is 'pinecone.'"
by Belinda Roddie
The magic word is "pinecone." Once you say it, the door opens, and you are confronted by two guards. If either one of them challenges you on the fact that "pine cone" is actually two words, mace them and then use the taser while they're blinded.
You will find the taser under the blue rock in front of the drawbridge to the castle. Do not look under the red rock because there is no taser there. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the red rock merely hosts a colony of angry fire ants. The green rock opens a portal to the diamond queen's dimension and should not be touched. There is no purple rock. So don't even try.
Once you have passed the guards, you are free to climb the stairwell to the prince's bedroom. The prince is genderfluid - they go by they/them pronouns. The diamond queen is not fond of progressive gender rights and consequently has secluded herself in her own dimension. Under the green rock. Which you were not supposed to look under.
I swear to God, if you looked under the green rock...
The staircase that leads to the prince consists of twenty-seven stairs. Anything more or less is a trap that can send you back to the starting point. The starting point should be familiar to you: A dilapidated diner that sells overcooked burgers and runny milkshakes. It is where you learned that "pinecone" is the magic word. Do not return to the starting point. And stop questioning the fact that "pine cone" was melded into one word for this mission.
If there are twenty-six stairs, the diner will also sell soggy fries. That is the greatest offense of all.
Twenty-eight stairs means that the server at the diner will be an absolute bitch. Again, not as bad as soggy fries. Trust me - those potato bastards will have been soaking in cold grease for days.
Twenty-nine stairs? Well, you may as well eat your sad burger and cry.
DO NOT LOOK UNDER THE GREEN ROCK.
The prince will be waiting for you in their bedroom wearing purple robes. That is why there is no purple rock. Because the prince's robes are already purple enough, the kingdom does not contain any other purple. Any other purple you claim to find besides the prince's robes is lavender, maroon, or violet. There are differences among these shades. Ask the Superior Artist if you are concerned.
And if the Superior Artist questions you on that or on the fact that "pinecone" should be "pine cone," use the taser again. It's effective on all enemies.
The prince will find you remarkably attractive and request that you stay the night. You are free to say yes or no to this. We believe in consent during this mythical assignment. But if you say yes, be prepared to swap vanilla ice cream for chocolate swirl.
It's a metaphor.
The safe word is, "pineapple."
This week's prompt is provided by Arden Roddie.
The magic word is "pinecone." Once you say it, the door opens, and you are confronted by two guards. If either one of them challenges you on the fact that "pine cone" is actually two words, mace them and then use the taser while they're blinded.
You will find the taser under the blue rock in front of the drawbridge to the castle. Do not look under the red rock because there is no taser there. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the red rock merely hosts a colony of angry fire ants. The green rock opens a portal to the diamond queen's dimension and should not be touched. There is no purple rock. So don't even try.
Once you have passed the guards, you are free to climb the stairwell to the prince's bedroom. The prince is genderfluid - they go by they/them pronouns. The diamond queen is not fond of progressive gender rights and consequently has secluded herself in her own dimension. Under the green rock. Which you were not supposed to look under.
I swear to God, if you looked under the green rock...
The staircase that leads to the prince consists of twenty-seven stairs. Anything more or less is a trap that can send you back to the starting point. The starting point should be familiar to you: A dilapidated diner that sells overcooked burgers and runny milkshakes. It is where you learned that "pinecone" is the magic word. Do not return to the starting point. And stop questioning the fact that "pine cone" was melded into one word for this mission.
If there are twenty-six stairs, the diner will also sell soggy fries. That is the greatest offense of all.
Twenty-eight stairs means that the server at the diner will be an absolute bitch. Again, not as bad as soggy fries. Trust me - those potato bastards will have been soaking in cold grease for days.
Twenty-nine stairs? Well, you may as well eat your sad burger and cry.
DO NOT LOOK UNDER THE GREEN ROCK.
The prince will be waiting for you in their bedroom wearing purple robes. That is why there is no purple rock. Because the prince's robes are already purple enough, the kingdom does not contain any other purple. Any other purple you claim to find besides the prince's robes is lavender, maroon, or violet. There are differences among these shades. Ask the Superior Artist if you are concerned.
And if the Superior Artist questions you on that or on the fact that "pinecone" should be "pine cone," use the taser again. It's effective on all enemies.
The prince will find you remarkably attractive and request that you stay the night. You are free to say yes or no to this. We believe in consent during this mythical assignment. But if you say yes, be prepared to swap vanilla ice cream for chocolate swirl.
It's a metaphor.
The safe word is, "pineapple."
This week's prompt is provided by Arden Roddie.
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