Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection
I am the only openly gay teacher at the high school I work at.
It sunk in this afternoon after I had some much-needed discussions with my students regarding the power of words and discriminatory comments that I or students have heard around campus. I'm not going to go into details as to what specific events led to my decision to have these conversations. What I will mention, however, is that they were necessary, and I wanted to generate an open forum for my students to speak their minds and share their thoughts.
That being said, I'm not afraid to be open about my experiences as a homosexual, non-binary individual. While I have never endured major moments of discrimination due to my sexuality or my gender expression - for example, I have never been fired from a job, denied service at a business, or shunned from a community based on these factors - I have dealt with a multitude of smaller, peskier forms of prejudice and insults. I have been called a "fat dyke" by students, which to me is amusing because that term is just a statement of fact; I am, indeed, overweight and gay. I have had students openly question if I have had crushes on other teachers - folks, I'm happily married and pine for no one but my amazing wife. I have even had teachers wonder about my gender, out loud, in their classes: "Is Roddie a man?" or, "Does Roddie want to be a man?" And the answer to both those questions is no.
And then the next thought I have is, "Why the fuck is a full-grown teacher questioning my gender in front of a group of high school students?!"
Of course, much of this discrimination has not been done to my face; in fact, many of the stories I've heard have occurred outside my classroom, in other spaces, and I have heard about these events by word of mouth. Consequently, I can't actually prove they happened (except for the "fat dyke" one - I caught that while glancing at a student's cellphone while they were texting their friends!), and therefore, I can't do anything administratively about them. It's actually way more frustrating than I originally perceived, and as a few students and staff distort some of my words and accuse me of saying or doing things I didn't say or do, it really starts to get under my skin.
Even in the 21st century, in Northern California, I still have to deal with this bullshit.
But it doesn't break me. As Annie Sullivan states in William Gibson's The Miracle Worker, it makes me strong.
I keep my classroom open during lunch so that students in the LGBTQ+ community can interact and feel safe in a space with a teacher who connects with them. When it's relevant and appropriate in my lesson plans, I bring up and discuss sexual orientation as part of my English curriculum. I have reached out regarding helping spread the word about hate speech and discriminatory language. And I intend to continue developing my own voice as well as assisting queer students with developing theirs.
I am not a hero or martyr. I am not a savior of the LGBTQ+ community. For starters, I'm white, and queer people of color have some of the worst struggles to deal with in this day and age, so it's my job to bolster their platform. Second of all, I live in suburbia, so I don't have much experience with LGBTQ+ individuals who try to survive in an urban environment. I can only provide my viewpoints; I need to make sure others can share their perspectives as well.
That's part of my job as an educator: To allow my students to strengthen their voices and become empowered in regards to communication, creativity, and initiative.
I am the only openly gay teacher at my high school, and I have a story to tell.
My mission is to ensure that others get to tell their stories as well.
Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.
It sunk in this afternoon after I had some much-needed discussions with my students regarding the power of words and discriminatory comments that I or students have heard around campus. I'm not going to go into details as to what specific events led to my decision to have these conversations. What I will mention, however, is that they were necessary, and I wanted to generate an open forum for my students to speak their minds and share their thoughts.
That being said, I'm not afraid to be open about my experiences as a homosexual, non-binary individual. While I have never endured major moments of discrimination due to my sexuality or my gender expression - for example, I have never been fired from a job, denied service at a business, or shunned from a community based on these factors - I have dealt with a multitude of smaller, peskier forms of prejudice and insults. I have been called a "fat dyke" by students, which to me is amusing because that term is just a statement of fact; I am, indeed, overweight and gay. I have had students openly question if I have had crushes on other teachers - folks, I'm happily married and pine for no one but my amazing wife. I have even had teachers wonder about my gender, out loud, in their classes: "Is Roddie a man?" or, "Does Roddie want to be a man?" And the answer to both those questions is no.
And then the next thought I have is, "Why the fuck is a full-grown teacher questioning my gender in front of a group of high school students?!"
Of course, much of this discrimination has not been done to my face; in fact, many of the stories I've heard have occurred outside my classroom, in other spaces, and I have heard about these events by word of mouth. Consequently, I can't actually prove they happened (except for the "fat dyke" one - I caught that while glancing at a student's cellphone while they were texting their friends!), and therefore, I can't do anything administratively about them. It's actually way more frustrating than I originally perceived, and as a few students and staff distort some of my words and accuse me of saying or doing things I didn't say or do, it really starts to get under my skin.
Even in the 21st century, in Northern California, I still have to deal with this bullshit.
But it doesn't break me. As Annie Sullivan states in William Gibson's The Miracle Worker, it makes me strong.
I keep my classroom open during lunch so that students in the LGBTQ+ community can interact and feel safe in a space with a teacher who connects with them. When it's relevant and appropriate in my lesson plans, I bring up and discuss sexual orientation as part of my English curriculum. I have reached out regarding helping spread the word about hate speech and discriminatory language. And I intend to continue developing my own voice as well as assisting queer students with developing theirs.
I am not a hero or martyr. I am not a savior of the LGBTQ+ community. For starters, I'm white, and queer people of color have some of the worst struggles to deal with in this day and age, so it's my job to bolster their platform. Second of all, I live in suburbia, so I don't have much experience with LGBTQ+ individuals who try to survive in an urban environment. I can only provide my viewpoints; I need to make sure others can share their perspectives as well.
That's part of my job as an educator: To allow my students to strengthen their voices and become empowered in regards to communication, creativity, and initiative.
I am the only openly gay teacher at my high school, and I have a story to tell.
My mission is to ensure that others get to tell their stories as well.
Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.
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