Tonight's Poet Corner: Introspection
This week got rough toward the end. I had to confront a lot of the stuff I talked about in my last introspection - my arbitrarily high expectations of myself and my work, the stress of my job, the amount of anxiety I place on my own brain on a daily basis. I nearly broke down in front of my students a couple of days ago, and now I'm currently dealing with volumes of emails regarding all sorts of technical difficulties regarding the yearbook.
So, yeah. That's all fun and games, isn't it?
Fortunately, I got to end tonight with an improv show, some grilled cheese, and The Great British Bake-Off with my true love. Our second wedding anniversary's coming up fast, which is hard to believe. I think there's so much I'm coping with in my little communal bubble, as well as all the craziness and awfulness in the real world (especially in my country. Because of course it's in my country), and it's hard to keep track of the good things.
And when I get into those head spaces, I think about all the things I've done wrong in the past. All the stupid mistakes I've made, all the terrible decisions and emotional choices. I feel like it's hard to be flawed these days, and I like to think I've grown a lot even in five years. But it's embarrassing to look back at all the ways I've burnt bridges or messed up or unintentionally hurt people. I am so unforgiving of myself, but I almost wonder if anyone else would be more forgiving.
I'm trying my best to stay positive. There's just a lot of negative energy I'm feeling right now. Being an empath doesn't help. So...I'm doing my best.
Hope you're all doing okay, lovelies.
Have a great night and a great weekend.
So, yeah. That's all fun and games, isn't it?
Fortunately, I got to end tonight with an improv show, some grilled cheese, and The Great British Bake-Off with my true love. Our second wedding anniversary's coming up fast, which is hard to believe. I think there's so much I'm coping with in my little communal bubble, as well as all the craziness and awfulness in the real world (especially in my country. Because of course it's in my country), and it's hard to keep track of the good things.
And when I get into those head spaces, I think about all the things I've done wrong in the past. All the stupid mistakes I've made, all the terrible decisions and emotional choices. I feel like it's hard to be flawed these days, and I like to think I've grown a lot even in five years. But it's embarrassing to look back at all the ways I've burnt bridges or messed up or unintentionally hurt people. I am so unforgiving of myself, but I almost wonder if anyone else would be more forgiving.
I'm trying my best to stay positive. There's just a lot of negative energy I'm feeling right now. Being an empath doesn't help. So...I'm doing my best.
Hope you're all doing okay, lovelies.
Have a great night and a great weekend.
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