Saturday's Storyteller: "Get your creepy baby doll away from me."

by Belinda Roddie

"Get your creepy baby doll away from me."

"His name is Jerry."

"No."

"He wants to love you."

"No."

"Why won't you let him love you?"

"No, no, no, no, no!"

"You are so weird!"

"I'm weird?! I'M WEIRD?! You're the one with a toy that looks like it can murder me in my sleep, in our apartment! Sure! I'm weird!"

"Jerry was a gift!"

"Your parents must have hated you, then."

"My aunt gave him to me!"

"Okay, she hates you, then!"

"She's dead now!"

"...Your Aunt Liza?"

"Yes!"

"We just saw her yesterday for her seventy-first birthday. Fuck off with that nonsense."

"Aarooooon."

"It's a creepy doll, and it's gross, and I don't like it."

"Well, he made me feel better when I was a kid."

"It's missing an eye."

"I wanted him to be a pirate."

"It has an evil smile."

"No. Not evil. Charming. How can you mix those up?"

"Its fingers are inexplicably long."

"You can't blame his genetics!"

"John, you are almost thirty. How are you okay with keeping this thing in our home?!"

"...He made me feel safe."

"From what?!"

"The dark. I was scared of the dark. Okay, tough guy?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...That weird doll helped you not be scared of the dark?"

"Don't patronize me for my childhood phobias, Aaron!"

"I had, like, a stuffed dog or something for that! Not a doll!"

"Jerry made things easier for me!"

"But he's not fluffy!"

"Just let me enjoy my nostalgia trip with - wait."

"What?"

"You called him a he."

"Yeah?"

"Instead of an it."

"...Yeah?"

"You respect his identity!"

"What."

"You like him!"

"No, I don't!"

"I'm gonna put him on the dresser from now on!"

"No, you're not!"

"He'll be our great protector."

"No."

"From the Lords of Darkness."

"No."

"And evil shadows."

"NO."

"Acknowledge Jerry, Aaron!"

"I WILL NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MONSTROSITY."

"...Okay. Fine."

"Okay."

"Fetch me the raspberry cider."

"Why."

"So I can spike it with cinnamon whiskey."

"Okay."

"And then pour it down your throat."

"Um."

"So you can appreciate Jerry."

"YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND, YOU FOOL!"

"Down the hatch, baby! WOO!"

This week's prompt was provided by Arden Roddie.