Saturday's Storyteller: "It's been quite some time since I heard music like that!"

by Belinda Roddie

"It's been quite some time since I heard music like that!"

"Huh?"

"The song you're listening to! I can hear it from your earbuds across the room. It's what the kids call a banger these days, no?"

"Granny, please stop trying to be cool."

"Oh, Branson - I don't have to try! Now, who's the band?"

"Uh...they're not really that well known."

"Please, honey. I've been to my fair share of underground punk and metal concerts!"

"Granny."

"It's true! I was always in the mosh pit."

"Why am I not surprised...uh, they're called Switchblade. They're a local band."

"Oh, my! Switchblade. Not a bad name, if I do say so myself."

"Uh-huh."

"You know any of the band members?"

"Nah. My friends do, though."

"Oh, how charming. I was very familiar with members of bands I listened to back in the day."

"I bet you were..."

"Not that way, silly! Your mind doesn't belong in the gutter, you know. Though, I will admit, we did snort coke and play ping pong plenty of times."

"...Coke and ping pong?"

"Oh, yes! The perfect combination, right after the beautiful combo of weed, sour cream and onion chips, and caramel syrup. The front man for a band I just adored - what was it, Psychedelic Psychosis or something? He got seriously crossfaded one night and kept screaming that he wasn't a Nazi. Now that was disconcerting!"

"...Was he actually a Nazi?"

"Indeed he was! He got a swastika tattoo after the band broke up. I washed my hands clean of him."

"That's messed up."

"Well, sweetie, there are a lot of terrible people in music. Not like the band Whipped, though. My goodness, what a phenomenal sound!"

"Were they metal?"

"Death metal! And wouldn't you know it, during one gig in San Francisco, the lead vocalist started coughing like mad onstage. So I jumped up and sang the hit songs for them!"

"No, you did not."

"Oh, yes, I did! Mind you, I can't growl nearly as well as I did back in my thirties, but that's what happens when you don't take good care of your vocal cords!"

"I do not believe for one second that you sang for a death metal band, Granny. Sorry."

"Oh, my! I'm offended, Branson. You don't trust your own grandmother?"

"No, I do. But - "

"You know, one day, I'll going to keel over and die, and you'll feel sorry for accusing me of being a liar."

"I didn't call you a liar! I just - "

"Better start writing your eulogy for me, Branny boy! And make sure to add lots of apologies!"

"All right, all right! I'm sorry. It's just hard to believe."

"...Sweetie. After all the stories I've told you, this is the one you're questioning?"

"Touché! Wanna listen to some Switchblade with me?"

"I'd love to! As long as they don't use horrid language. Goodness, the profanity in music these days is just appalling!"

"They're not too bad."

"Now, violence and gore in lyrics...that I can stomach."

"Glad to see you've got your priorities straight, Granny."

"Oh, nothing is straight with me, Branson! You know that!"

"I'm going to turn the volume up now so I can't hear you!"

"Ooh, maybe I should try growling again. Maybe I haven't lost my touch."

"Granny!"

This week's prompt was provided by Arden Roddie.