My Cardboard Balcony

Bland Expectations by Belinda Roddie My father wanted me to be a doctor, just like his father, who secretly wished he could be an astronaut, just like his brother, who had a hankering to try out the culinary arts, just like his cousin, who while stirring sauce dreamed of stirring up the hearts of dames as a jazz singer instead, just like his mother, who had married a man but had fallen in love with a woman, just like her best friend, who heavily considered becoming a nun, just like her teacher, who prayed to God for a boat to sail in, just like her father, who got up every morning, sucked in the sea spray through one nostril, and thought, "You know, maybe I ought to have been a doctor."

After the students' raucous and juvenile yelling died down, the lecturer walked up to the podium, noticeably limping and rubbing her rigid right arm. Everyone in the hall knew that she was a war veteran, yet somehow, only a select handful of the youth there seemed to care. One girl snapped bubble gum and rolled her eyes, whispering to her friend that the injured soldier had only perpetuated a useless, evil war. And then the veteran spoke. "I lost use of my arm while saving an Iraqi child from a suicide bomber."

A whole bunch of nonsense was scrawled across the chalkboard, the white letters glaring in the abandoned classroom. I stepped up to the black slate cautiously, running my fingers against the petrified powder, lashes of dust and soot appearing on my cuticles. The illegible writing was by far too convoluted to be understood, let alone translated. But I took the camera out anyway and snapped some pictures, to be used in the exhibit for remote, derelict buildings.

by Belinda Roddie My porn name is Work Bourbon. The obvious reason: I work for bourbon. Honestly, I don't need the porn job. My inheritance from my grandfather is substantial enough to pay the rent and groceries every month. However, since whiskey has to be fucking expensive as all Hell, I'd rather do something to get as much of it as possible in a career path I can handle. So, naturally, there's the name. I've been in the porno production business for six years now. I only work with clean people; no STDs allowed on my set. I always show up intoxicated - it's the rule, and it makes my scenes, in my opinion, more natural. My main revolutionary role was playing the very first pizza woman in a popular lesbian porno, and not the kind made for straight men either. It was legit, for-lesbians, by-lesbians porn. My long-time girlfriend has gotten used to the reality of my work. She appreciates that I have enough learned sexual maneuvers to last a lifetime in be...

Has anyone lost a puppy? I've found one by the diner. She's a small little pup, with lots of fluff, and is really quite the whiner. She likes to eat roast chicken and run around my yard, but my mother might throw me out of sight if I ever let down my guard. Because my mother doesn't like dogs, you see, and she'd put the pup back on the street. Has anyone lost a puppy, so it can have better food to eat?

Got some projects underway, some writing to possibly tackle this weekend besides Storyteller. Wish I could say more, but I'm tired and my stomach's bothering me, so we'll just leave it at that. Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

"Caramel Kisses" is an unfinished novel I began to write back in 2009 and stopped working on in 2010. The two main characters - Adriana Maguire Reynard and Emma Burking - would ultimately be revised for my later completed novella, "The Liffey Is Half-Asleep," in 2011. Several elements of "Liffey" can be found in their original forms in "Caramel Kisses," such as the characters' names, the haiku scene, and Adriana's penchant for writing. Because of its influence on my later writing, I figured that this story, though incomplete, was worth sharing. Caramel Kisses: Chapter Fifteen by Belinda Roddie September trudged lazily by, leaving warm imprints on my psyche as I sweated literally and figuratively over my play’s production. Hudd was doing an excellent job; that much was true. He had done wonderfully in terms of casting, with fresh-faced youths straight out of drama programs in San Francisco universities playing the lead roles. He had go...