My Cardboard Balcony

by Belinda Roddie "So I ran into Krampus at the pool hall." "Oh?" "Well, obviously not the real Krampus. Some guy dressed like him. He said he wanted to stir up Santa Con." "And did he succeed?" "Let's just say he got lots of photos taken with crying children." "Hold on. Let me see if I've got this right. Krampus is sort of a German anti-Santa devil who cuts off bad children's toes, right?" "Well, no. I mean, sometimes he swats them with birch or a whip. Other times he brings a bathtub to cart the kids to Hell. Or drown, or eat, or something." "...A bathtub?" "Not everyone can afford a limo, Aaron. Just saying." "You make it sound like I can afford a limo." "Well, with your Christmas bonus, maybe we can hire one. Cheers." "There's plenty of rum in this egg nog, isn't there?" "More rum than nog, my fr...

If I see the phrase "We are stardust" one more time, I'm going to use my frustration to summon a meteor to crash down on every wannabe poet and astrologist's house. We are not stardust. We are more complex than that. To call us the remnants of a massive ball of gas and light is nearly an insult. We are formulas and equations. We are chemical reactions and explosions. We are a tight, dense, compact bottle of potion that, if drunk, can brew an entire galaxy.

There are a lot of things on my mind that, unfortunately, I really can't post here. That does happen a lot, and it explains several of my more minimal introspections. Because this is a public blog, however, I'd rather keep certain ideas and information to myself so as not to cause any potential issues with anyone. Don't worry, I'm not thinking of anything controversial. I'm just trying to stay professional. "Full of Grace" is coming along slowly, but surely. I am not sure, by this point, how long the series will be (as in quantity of episodes). I'm on Episode 3, and already I've gone through a lot of the outlining and scripting I had in mind. It's nowhere near finished, but this might wind up in the 7-10 episode range, which is fine by me. "Happy Distribution" was significantly longer - ergo, harder to hypothetically throw together and film. Work's also been kicking my behind recently because of the holiday season, and with Ch...

Too Sweet by Belinda Roddie Sheila offered George a cookie. He offered her a kiss.

"What do you mean, we have to take Ralph to the vet again?" demanded Erica. "He just went!" "He's just not eating," her mother replied, sounding weary over the phone. "Doctor Sanchez said after the surgery, he should be eating by now. I hate to say this, honey, but Ralph could be really sick." Erica felt her throat go dry. Ralph had been the family cat for eleven years. Even though she was away at college, she couldn't lose him now.

Eleven Gifts by Belinda Roddie Eleven gifts were passed around the group, and eleven were opened with delight. Todd's present was a plane that spun a loop over our heads when he controlled it. Dwight received a brand new watch, which he snapped on right away, showing it off to Lorraine, who smiled at her new necklace, which was long and dripping with small diamonds. Color drained from Abby's face when she saw the new ring her husband had bought her. Needless to say, he got plenty of kisses. Jack and Jean, the little twins, got three gifts each - a gray sweater for both, and other trinkets. My gift was the last: A lovely plaid bowtie.

After ten minutes, the comedian's act had already gone stale. He left the stage with his head somewhat bowed, as if he had known how lousy his jokes had been. The next comedian, a young woman with red curls, was absolutely hysterical. She had amazing impressions, a great comedic voice (tone and otherwise), and excellent punchlines. And which one did my male friends like more? I'll give you a hint: He didn't have red curls.