My Cardboard Balcony

by Belinda Roddie The leaves rustled in the wind as the hairs prickled at the back of her neck. It was finally starting to feel like autumn, and yet the chill was so sudden that it settled into her bones like fire, burning away at her sinews instead of cooling down her ever raging temples. She stuffed her hands deep into the pockets of her coat, but after a while, they grew so damp and clammy that she had to draw them out again and expose them to the colder and harsher elements of the evening. Esther had gone on plenty of walks already this October, but this one was already different. Besides the rapid drop in temperatures, it was getting darker sooner, and that meant that the singing started earlier, too. At first, she thought she heard sea shanties on the wind - perhaps from her neighbor's house, where he liked to hold pirate-themed parties. As she turned the corner to another uniform residential block, the notes of what sounded like a funeral dirge sent anxiety down her stom...

In preparation for the Halloween party, we dressed up as pirates, drank several shots of tequila, found the dullest swords we could find, and challenged the Kraken upon the beach. Of course, there was actually no Kraken, but we did chase down a grubby old man with a metal detector and frightened a multitude of children. We were ultimately sent to the brig, with not a drop of grog to savor.

So...where to start? My Yearbook students are giving me heart palpitations in regards to finishing anything by their first deadline. A trip in a dunk tank during the Homecoming Carnival ultimately culminated in a trip to the ER because get your ears flushed every year I'm serious guys. Found out that a couple of students have been trying to insult my identity behind my back, as if accusing me of being transgender or calling me a fat dyke is going to knock me down. Both these students have been through a lot - I get that - but really? Now I'm at my in-laws' house because it's their annual Halloween party, which I always enjoy, and it's the fifth time I've been a guest. My costume is ready to go, and so is my appetite for all the food and drink. Oh, and my Yearbook staff is having a Halloween party, too! It's the day right after my in-laws' annual party. So that'll be something - I haven't been to two Halloween parties in a row since coll...

Hello, Today! by Belinda Roddie Yesterday, I thought I'd die tomorrow. But here I am!

I loved you. I worshipped you. I treated you like a god. But you were mortal, just like I was. You may have worn the raiment of royal deities - the golds and purples, ribbons and beads, silver circlet atop your sunrise head. But you couldn't make the sun move, and you couldn't take sacrifices at the altar without getting your hands severely burned. I adored you, and yet you turned from me. And I was deemed a heretic for idolizing someone without the blood of Zeus or Ra.

I've Been Doing This Gig by Belinda Roddie I've been doing this gig for twenty years, selling my T-shirts off of busy streets, whether their logos boast of Christmas cheer or their colors match a Fourth of July feast. I've designed hundreds of tees, and I've tried to get them into all the stores in town, but I guess they don't like their business side because they just think I'm dicking around with them. They won't invest in my product, and so I stand on the corner each day, foisting off shirts for around twenty bucks a pop - not bad in terms of time and pay. My job's not easy, but it's really fun, and as for dreams - let's say I've got 'em done.

My hearing's been cut in half, and I don't know how to handle it. It happened just a week before an important deadline, and I don't know how to handle it. I've have anxiety before, but this episode? The other attacks can't hold a candle to it. I don't know how to handle my world being muffled like a silencer kissing the sweaty nose of a gun. Everything is too muffled, too subdued, too muted - too dangerous.