My Cardboard Balcony

Special Delivery by Belinda Roddie When you order a pizza, you should not expect a baby to be sitting in a box on your doorstep Nor should you be planning to birth a child in the hospital, but wind up with a hot pizza pie Because there's absolutely no boost to your appetite from a cheese-drizzled infant with anchovies on the side And though pizza is not what a new mother would like perhaps the old midwife would care for a slice

Is it too much to ask for me to be independently wealthy, when I have been profoundly poor for most of my life? I spent my first three years out of college being a dishwasher at a rundown Italian restaurant, milking each penny for all it was worth. I ate ramen and drank warm tap water and lived with six other people. Now I get to drink a beer sometimes and live with only four other people. Yeah. My affluence is staggering.

"Look, man," said Marty, "I'm not here to judge you. But I'm pretty sure I told you that drinking toxic waste is super hazardous to your health." Michelle burped loudly. Flecks of green and black flecked her lips. She smiled and lowered the can. "Hey," she said. "I bet you if I chug another pound of this, I'll get X-ray vision." "How about cancer? You want that as a superpower?"

by Belinda Roddie In this corner of the universe, puppies can fly. They don't have wings, but the more they pant, the higher elevation they can achieve. Sometimes, a cold, dreary morning in the southern regions of the planet Harte, it can be uplifting to see these cruising canines as they glide in the autumn-esque air, tongues lolling out and fluffy ears flapping. It's like an aerial show of adorableness. The biggest issue, of course, is when their droppings end up on the windshield of your car. However, your car in this corner of the universe is now equipped with a personal android cleaner, so you'll only have to hear cursing in binary as it scrubs off the mess. This week's prompt was provided by Arden Roddie.

Well, then. I just finished teaching my first full year of English 10 and Yearbook at my high school. I completed my very first yearbook, which received positive reviews. I will be seeing off my senior students at their graduation tomorrow. Then I will be working as an English teacher at the district's summer school, collaborating with some former students and other students so they can make up flunked classes. I will be twenty-nine years old in thirteen days. My cousin's wedding is on July 8th. My sister's bridal shower is on July 14th. I will be returning to Yearbook camp on July 16th. Then I will be going to Seattle for my other cousin's wedding on August 4th. And after that? A new year begins. Life just keeps moving forward, doesn't it? Have a great night and a great weekend, everyone.

Hey, It's More Money by Belinda Roddie School's out for summer. Until summer school. I'll be working.