My Cardboard Balcony

I knew that he was alive somewhere. Alive, heart still beating, intact - not in pieces like in that blasted "Tell-Tale Heart" by Poe. Still, if I had to be like that denying mad protagonist, I would be. I'd rip up the floorboards myself, stretch the skin along my cuticles, rip out the nails and keratin that were my only bridges to sanity.

by Belinda Roddie And that's when I noticed, deep within the fragrant branches of the bedecked fir, pair after pair of tiny eyes glinting back at me. For anyone else, that could have been the beginning of a holiday horror film - perhaps evil gremlins had been feasting on the needles and were ready to pounce, or malicious spirits sent by Krampus himself had begun to swarm around the lights and ornaments. Amber, yellow, green, and even blue glinted from these perhaps disembodied eyes, and despite the glow of the hearth and the glinting of the tinsel, from a distance, you couldn't tell what they were. Of course, I knew better. I laughed, and I stood up from where I had been nursing a glass of butterscotch schnapps and listening to Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas album. My feet gave off little heat as each toe skipped off the wooden floor, and once I got to my tree, I shook it a bit, smiling as I heard the skittering and the whining. "That's right, y...

Everyone started freaking out when the "new Titanic" was being built, but frankly, given the trends of climate change, I don't see it hitting an iceberg any time soon. Because...you know...the icebergs are melting. So it'll be pretty smooth sailing. Pun absolutely intended. I've always been fascinated by boats, so this news was definitely up my alley. Perhaps I'll sneak my way onto the vessel if it ever gets finalized.

Wow. This week. Coming back to work. Trying to salvage things. Having it all blow up in my face. Coming to terms with the hard facts. I'm not going to lie: It has been a nightmare. An absolute nightmare. The negativity, the bullying, the complete lack of empathy from some people. I have suffered from tremendous anxiety. I have lost on hours of sleep due to my heart rate not slowing down. I have had to close myself off from several students I respect and admire. I have had to see these same students suffer due to other students who should not have the titles they hold or the praise they receive. I have had to meet with mentors, friends, and leaders at my school to try to figure out how I can get through this and how I can make everyone's experiences better. It's all hard. It's all maddening. It all feels insurmountable. But I need to make some hard decisions. I have to call people. I have to arrange meetings that will torture me before they happen, during the proce...

This Is Getting Out Of Hand by Belinda Roddie Can everyone and everything in my life just chill, please?

I feel as if an invisible barrier holds me back from the treasure chest. I can almost smell the pine of the wood, catch a glimpse of gold beneath its heavy lid. I want to hear it creak open so badly. But my palms are flat against glass I can't see, and the reward I desperately desire just sits there, taunting me. If only I had a sword or an axe or a chainsaw. But then again, I think this is all impervious to physical weapons.

To Let The World Explode by Belinda Roddie To let the world explode, the one that I worked so hard to create and to maintain - with its tall mountains and majestic sky, its deep oceans and rippling, mighty plains - to let it collapse and look just the same as it had been before I arrived here and left a book embossed with my own name - aye, that could be a fate that holds less fear than that of attempting to salvage all. I often hear advice of how I should fight for what I've build 'til I'm 'gainst the wall, but these cold bricks do my shoulders no good; I am hunched over, worn out from the pain, my heart rate quickening, both my worlds strained.