Friday's Whims of the Time Traveler 54.1: Summer 2009

NOTE: This is the fourth full-act play I ever wrote, at the age of nineteen. While I cannot specifically remember when it was finished, I am going to hazard a guess that I was done with this play by the summer and began writing my fifth full-act play in the winter of 2010 while studying abroad in Ireland. This is Act III of the play. Enjoy.

Can't Hurry Love: A Play In Three Acts
by Belinda Roddie

CAST (in order of appearance)

SAMANTHA “SAM” MELICK, a lesbian novelist

ANDRE GRIFFIN, a bartender-turned actor

AMELIA MELICK, an actress and Sam’s older sister

LESLEY EVERARD, a questioning English university student

MRS. MELICK, Sam and Amelia’s mother

MR. MELICK, Sam and Amelia’s father

SIMON HART, Lesley’s boyfriend

SETTING

A Pub in Yorkshire, England

WRITER’S NOTE: All stage directions and emotions listed in this script are open for suggestion. Altering them should not decrease the caliber of the play, but they should serve as guidelines for the director and the actors. Remember, nothing is set in stone.

Act Three

(The lights come up on AMELIA. AMELIA sits at a table, stirring a half-empty drink, humming to herself as ANDRE enters from the backroom with a box of Chinese food)

ANDRE. Hey. (Sits down beside AMELIA and puts his arm around her)

AMELIA. Having leftovers?

ANDRE. Yeah. I told you that you should give everything to me if you can’t finish it. …Need me to refill your drink?

AMELIA. Oh, no, I’m good. I’ll let you know, though.

ANDRE. I’ll be right here, then.

(AMELIA giggles as they hug and ANDRE kisses her on the cheek. He stands up and takes the Chinese food with him to the bar, which he stands behind as he eats. AMELIA looks toward the entrance to the bar)

AMELIA. Sam’s still not here?

ANDRE. I know, right? She hasn’t shown up for the past two days. I called her and she told me she was sick.

AMELIA. Really? With what?

ANDRE. I don’t know. She didn’t sound too great, though. Her voice was really scratchy on the phone. Maybe she’s got a sore throat?

AMELIA. Could be a cold.

ANDRE. Hmmm, now that you mention it, she sounded congested, too. (Continues to eat) Want any of this?

AMELIA. I’m all right, thanks. (Thinks for a minute) Andre?

ANDRE. Yeah?

AMELIA. What’s going to happen with us? When I leave?

ANDRE. We’ve got another month, don’t we?

AMELIA. Yeah, but…we can’t have such a long-distance relationship, can we? I mean, I’ll be in New York, and you’ll be here, and…

ANDRE. I know. Can’t really work, I guess.

AMELIA. …Maybe I’ll just cancel my flight and stay here.

ANDRE. (Rushes over to her) No, don’t do that. Don’t throw away an opportunity just for me.

AMELIA. But you’re an opportunity, Andre! I mean, we only just started getting serious, and I’m just running away.

ANDRE. You’re not running away. Besides, it’s not like we’re never going to see each other again. Here. (Embraces AMELIA and pulls her toward him) I am so happy we were able to start this. You have no idea how much I was wondering if you’d make a move. I mean, I just couldn’t read you at all.

AMELIA. Oh…you couldn’t, could you?

ANDRE. You know me, Amelia. I’m a guy. I can’t get rid of that stigma. (AMELIA giggles) Look, I just want you to know that no matter what, and no matter who we’ll end up with in the future, I care for you very, very much, okay?

AMELIA. Okay.

ANDRE. All right. (Starts heading back to the bar)

AMELIA. I just don’t know if that’s enough for me.

(Pause as ANDRE slowly turns to look at AMELIA, thinking)

ANDRE. I could also go back to the States, too, you know.

AMELIA. Oh, Andre, no.

ANDRE. I’m serious! Maybe I couldn’t go with you right away, but I could come later. I’ll buy a plane ticket and head right over. I’ll close the bar and start one up in New York.

AMELIA. But you spent so much just getting this off the ground!

ANDRE. I know, I know. But business has always been so-so and you know me, I love taking risks and trying new things.

AMELIA. But the bills, and the debts…

ANDRE. I can clear them in a month or so. I don’t really owe any money. I’ve been pretty good with the lease. I’ll sell the property and see how much I make and I’ll be all set. Simple!

AMELIA. You don’t get the hint, do you? I’m saying it’s too much work. I don’t want to force you to go to the States with me. That’s just pushing it.

ANDRE. Amelia. You’re not forcing me to do anything.

AMELIA. But Andre –

ANDRE. Can’t you see that I want to do this? (Pause) Amelia, I came to England for a lot of reasons. That doesn’t mean I have to stay here. I mean, sure, I’ve been here for years, but that doesn’t mean I have to be here permanently. I’m still a U.S. citizen. It’s still my home country. And I think getting to know you showed me that I can be anywhere and still say it’s where I belong.

AMELIA. Let me guess. You’re going to add the sappy “As long as I’m with you” line, aren’t you?

ANDRE. Well, I won’t if you don’t want me to.

(They kiss each other on the lips)

AMELIA. (Pulls away) You taste like chow mein.

ANDRE. Well, if you want any, it’s over there.

 (AMELIA playfully shoves ANDRE as he goes back to the bar)

AMELIA. Andre?

ANDRE. Yeah?

AMELIA. I’ll have an apartment ready for you when you get to New York.

ANDRE. Pick one by the coast if you can afford it. I’ve always wanted a home with a good view.

AMELIA. I’ll try. And you know what? Yeah, you can refill my drink.

ANDRE. (Teasingly) Oh, I can. What a privilege.

(He takes a bottle and starts filling up AMELIA’S glass, and they look ready to kiss again when SAM suddenly enters, looking disheveled and like she hasn’t slept. She holds a pen and her poetry book as she walks in)

AMELIA. Sam! Good to see you.

SAM. Oh. Oh, hi there.

ANDRE. How’ve you been? Feeling better?

SAM. Oh, yeah. I feel wonderful. Absolutely glorious.

ANDRE. (Taken aback) Yeah, well, Amelia and I were worried about you. You said you were sick, so…

SAM. Yeah, I made that up. I wasn’t really sick. Can I have a drink?

AMELIA. Whoa, wait, you weren’t sick?

SAM. No, okay? I just needed some down time.

AMELIA. Well, you could’ve just said that.

SAM. (Tosses the book onto the table in front of AMELIA) Look, don’t bother me about it, all right? Here, read some of my poetry instead. I was up for hours writing.

AMELIA. Um…okay.  Are you all right?

SAM. Oh, me? I’m great. Couldn’t be better. Andre, can I have that drink?

ANDRE. (Takes SAM’S arm) Sam, why don’t you take a seat?

SAM. Hey, hey. I can handle sitting down. See? Look. (Sits down in a chair) Ta da.

AMELIA. …Andre, why don’t you go to the back room and leave us alone for a bit?

ANDRE. Are you sure? She’s acting kind of manic.

AMELIA. I’ll be fine.  Trust me.

SAM. Andre! Can I have a drink now?

ANDRE. Oh, uh, sure. But, uh, I need to go to the inventory to get it. Uh, hold on.

SAM. Well, hurry up. I need to make up for not being here.

(ANDRE looks at AMELIA with concern before exiting. AMELIA goes over to SAM)

AMELIA. Why are you acting like this?

SAM. Acting like what?

AMELIA. You’re being really weird and moody. Well, more so than you usually are.

SAM. Yeah, so?

AMELIA. Have you been getting sleep?

SAM. What? No. Not lately.

AMELIA. Well, you need it. You look awful.

SAM. Look, stop worrying about me, okay? I don’t need that. Just go take care of yourself and your boyfriend.

AMELIA. What the Hell is wrong with you?

SAM. Okay, you want to know what’s wrong? You really want to know? What’s wrong is that I don’t have a Strongbow in my hand, and you’re ragging on me. That’s what’s wrong. Happy?

AMELIA. Fine. Forget it. I’m going to hang out with Andre.

SAM. Yeah, go ahead! Go hang out with him! But don’t come back unless you have a fucking drink for me!

(AMELIA flips SAM off and exits. SAM leans back in her chair, clenching her teeth. She opens her book to reveal it is full of scribbles. She takes her pen and starts writing, but then starts immediately scratching everything out. She lets the pen drop to the floor and closes the book)

SAM. Oh, God. Why? Why?

(The lights dim around her as a spotlight comes up on her chair. MR. MELICK and MRS. MELICK appear, flanking SAM)

MR. MELICK. So…this is the big news.

SAM. Yes, Dad.

MR. MELICK. You’re…

SAM. I can’t hide it any longer. I just needed to tell you.

MRS. MELICK. (Beginning to weep) No. No, please, God, no.

SAM. (Reaching out to MRS. MELICK) Mom, it’s okay.

MRS. MELICK. Don’t touch me.

SAM. But…but Mom, I…

MRS. MELICK. I can’t believe this. I won’t believe this. Not for a minute.

SAM. It’s not that bad.

MRS. MELICK. Not that bad? Not that bad? Look at you. We thought this was all a phase, that it’d all pass over. But this…this is just…

MR. MELICK. Geez, Sam, I…I don’t know what to say.

SAM. Look, I know it’s hard to handle. But you guys will get used to it, I swear.

MRS. MELICK. Never! I will never get used to this! I can’t bear the fact that one of my daughters could be…is…

SAM. Gay, Mom.

(MRS. MELICK begins to bawl)

MR. MELICK. Cindy! My God!

SAM. What the Hell did I do? Mom, c’mon, please stop.

MRS. MELICK. I thought this only happened to other people, to people who deserved it. Not my family. Not my daughter!

MR. MELICK. Cindy! Look, I know this is difficult for all of us, but think about Sam! This is harder for her than anyone else!

SAM. Yeah, you’re making this sound like this is such a horrible thing, Mom! Yes, I know it’s different. I know it’s not orthodox…

MRS. MELICK. It’s not natural!

SAM. Mom!

MR. MELICK. Oh, honey, don’t say that! That’s not right!

MRS. MELICK. It’s not natural, Frank! It’s wrong. This…I’ve taken a lot from you, Samantha, but this! This is beyond anything I imagined from you!

SAM. Christ, Mom! I’m gay! I didn’t kill anyone!

MR. MELICK. We know, Sam, we know. And I will tell you right now that I…

MRS. MELICK. (Embraces MR. MELICK) Frank, I know you’re hurting, but we’ll get through this. We’ll handle this.

MR. MELICK. Wait a minute, what?

SAM. You’ll handle this? What about me?

MRS. MELICK. And as for you…get out of here. Go to your room or something. Just get away from us.

SAM. Why? Why do I have to do that?

MRS. MELICK. Because you’re upsetting me. I can barely even look at you. Not when I know you’re…you’re a dyke.

SAM. (Shocked) Mom!

MR. MELICK. Cindy!

MRS. MELICK. My daughter is a lousy, good-for-nothing dyke!

SAM. Stop it! Don’t call me that!

MR. MELICK. Dear Lord, Cindy, how can you say that? Our own daughter!

MRS. MELICK. Well, that’s what she is, isn’t she, Frank? A dyke. A no good queer bringing shame to this family, and to her sister…oh, God, Amelia!

SAM. She already knows! I told her before you guys!

MRS. MELICK. And why would you do that? Why would you do that to her?

SAM. Because she took it better and she accepted it! (MRS. MELICK cries harder) Look, Mom, I told you the truth because I thought you’d support me. I didn’t think…I didn’t think you’d act like this!

MRS. MELICK. I told you to get out of here.

SAM. Mom! Please!

MR. MELICK. Cindy, I’m going to support her and I think you should, too!

MRS. MELICK. Go. Away. Samantha.

SAM. …I can’t believe you. You think I wanted this? You think I wanted to be like this?

MRS. MELICK. Stop it.

SAM. (Getting more emotional) You think I wanted to be gay? You think this was something I could control? I wanted to be straight, Mom! I wanted to be normal! You really think I’d want to hurt you guys, to put myself in a place like this?

MRS. MELICK. Please, Frank, make her stop!

MR. MELICK. Her stop? What about you?

SAM. (Getting louder and more upset) You really think I want to be hated for who I am? To be discriminated against? I’ve been debating my sexuality for years, and I just can’t fight it anymore! I didn’t want this any more than you did! I didn’t want to be gay!

(SAM is screaming now, knocking aside chairs and tables as MRS. MELICK and MR. MELICK fade away from the scene)

SAM. (Screaming) Damn it! Why did I have to be gay? Why did I have to be a lesbian? Why couldn’t I be like Amelia? Why couldn’t I be like everyone else?

(She continues to adlib lines similar to the previous lines, as she gets more and more emotional, until ANDRE and AMELIA run back into the room as SAM begins to simply lose the words and scream. ANDRE grabs SAM, but she pulls away before running straight into AMELIA)

SAM. (Begins to strike AMELIA with her fists) Why couldn’t I be like you? Why couldn’t I have a boyfriend and be like you? Why? Why, damn it?! WHY?!

(AMELIA forcefully hugs SAM, who completely breaks down and falls to the floor sobbing, taking AMELIA with her. ANDRE stands over the two, not knowing what exactly to do, as AMELIA holds SAM tightly as they kneel on the floor)

AMELIA. Sam, please. Tell us what’s wrong. We’re here for you. Tell us what’s wrong.

(AMELIA begins to shush her, before SAM pulls away from her, begins to breathe, and wipes her eyes)

SAM. Thank you.

AMELIA. For what?

SAM. For letting me drag you to the floor. (Tries to laugh but can’t as she looks away from the two others, staring out above the audience) You were wrong, Amelia.

AMELIA. What?

SAM. You said I had a crush on her. It was nothing like that. (Tries to breathe) It was more than that. So much more than that.

AMELIA. Sam…is this about Lesley? (When SAM doesn’t respond) Oh my God, it is, isn’t it? What happened?

SAM. Nothing. Just the simple reassurance…

ANDRE. Reassurance of what?

SAM. That she doesn’t love me back.

AMELIA. Because…

SAM. Because she isn’t gay.

(SAM moves to prop chairs and tables back up, and ANDRE helps. AMELIA picks up SAM’S poetry book from the floor and flips through it as SAM sits down)

SAM. Lesley was questioning her sexuality. She didn’t know what she was, or what she really wanted. And I thought…

AMELIA. (As she reads) You thought you’d help her. (Turns to look at SAM) These poems are all about her.

SAM. I know. I wrote them.

AMELIA. Oh, Sam, I’m so sorry. (Hugs SAM) I didn’t know. If I had known…

SAM. No, don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything. I was…I was just stupid. I kept thinking she was like me, that the whole boyfriend thing was just a cover and she was hiding her feelings and she just needed some sort of dramatic epiphany about it. But it didn’t happen like that.

ANDRE. So that’s why you were gone.

SAM. (Struggles not to cry again) I couldn’t get out of bed, and even then, I couldn’t sleep. You guys should’ve seen me. I was worse than I am now. She ran out of here after I kissed her.

ANDRE. Wait, you kissed her?

AMELIA. Jesus, Sam! I didn’t think you had fallen that hard!

SAM. Yeah, I know. But it felt so good. But then…then she just ran off. And I followed her. She told me I ruined everything.

AMELIA. What the Hell? Why did she say that?

SAM. I don’t know. Maybe it’s something I just won’t understand. Maybe it was because I ruined the mystery. Maybe it was because I killed the curiosity.

ANDRE. You still want a drink, Sam?

SAM. No. No, I won’t fall to that. It won’t help. (Getting upset again) This whole time, I’ve always said I didn’t want anything to do with love, but this…this is just painful. I can’t deal with it. I can’t! (Breaks down momentarily before talking again) Why are we really here, guys? I know we talked about it, but why did we really come to England? All three of us.

ANDRE. I thought we kind of went over that.

SAM. No. It’s not enough. I could’ve gone anywhere else. I could’ve flown to Japan, for all I cared. And you two…there are so many other places you could’ve gone to be actors or bartenders or whatever the Hell you wanted to be. There are so many other places we could’ve escaped to, to get away from our old lives. But we’re all here. We’re all here in Yorkshire, sitting in a bar and living these lives and not thinking about why. Why are we really here? Why?

ANDRE. …I don’t know. The culture? The history? (After a pause) The whole atmosphere of Great Britain. The past glories.

SAM. (Giving in) The literature.

ANDRE. Yeah, the writing. All the great authors and playwrights. The artwork. The music.

AMELIA. (Resolutely, pounding her fist on the table) The accents.

(ANDRE and SAM look quizzically at AMELIA, who appears to be a reverie)

SAM. The what now?

AMELIA. C’mon! Don’t tell me you don’t think British accents are sexy! I mean, seriously, Alan Rickman? To die for.

ANDRE. Great, now I’m at odds with Professor Snape.

AMELIA. Look, maybe we’re here for the less tangible stuff. I mean, for me…I was glad you decided to go to England, Sam. I was more than happy to follow you here. And not just because I wanted to support you when we started our careers.

SAM. What did you come for, then?

AMELIA. Isn’t it obvious? The love. I mean, think about it. We’re all here in this bar in this city in this country because it…well…inspires romance.

ANDRE. I always liked the classic British romances.

AMELIA. I know, right? Exactly. There’s an aura to England, this romantic environment that you can’t find anywhere else. I mean, yeah, when you look at England at a glance, it’s sort of like everywhere else with its relationship drama and its soap operas and its occasional lack of either, but…so many English writers wrote about love. Jane Austen’s books just ooze with happy, romantic endings. You should know this more than anyone else, Sam.

SAM. Well, yeah. I guess.

AMELIA. And now we’re here, and I was able to get the courage to do something I never would’ve done in the United States. (Takes ANDRE’S hand) And that’s really getting out there and showing my feelings to someone I care about.

ANDRE. Right. And the same goes for me.

AMELIA. You too, Sam.

SAM. What?

AMELIA. This whole thing with Lesley. You’ve never dealt with something this intense before. Not even when you were with Hannah. And you wouldn’t have kissed Lesley if you were back home, not while you were dealing with Mom. So you’ve felt it, too. Whether you like it or not.

SAM. …I guess I was too busy.

AMELIA. With what?

SAM. Dealing with all the baggage I already had. (Stands up) Look at me, Amelia. I’m a lesbian and a writer. That’s already overkill. I have a mother who hates me for who I am and a father who can’t do anything about it. And now, I have to deal with the fact that someone I really feel something for can’t ever be with me. You really think I could deal with all this? Anyone else would’ve gone insane. I can’t even believe I’m still standing here and being coherent.

AMELIA. Well, it makes you that much stronger, doesn’t it? Come here. (Takes SAM’s hand) I’m proud of you, Sam. You always were so anti-love since…well, since Mom tried to stamp it out of you.

SAM. (Laughing) Oh, no. I won’t let her have that. Not anymore.

AMELIA. There you go. You actually smiled for the first time today. Let’s have a group hug. (They do so) And let’s go do something. Let’s get out of here for once.

ANDRE. But it’s not even the lunch shift.

AMELIA. Oh, c’mon. You can shut down the bar for one day. Besides, I think Sam would appreciate it.

SAM. You know, I’m right here.

AMELIA. All right, you tell me what you want.

SAM. Well, I…actually, yeah, I really would appreciate it.

AMELIA. See?

ANDRE. Oh, all right. I can’t say no to that. Here, I’ll go get my coat and then I'll deal with the lights and such. (Exits)

SAM. Go with him.

AMELIA. Huh? Wait, why?

SAM. You’re leaving soon, right? Might as well spend every bit of time you can with him.

AMELIA. Well, it’s not like I’m never going to see him again.

SAM. Wait, are you…(AMELIA doesn’t respond) He’s going, too, isn’t he?

AMELIA. Oh, Sam. I was going to tell you…we sort of decided on it today…

SAM. It’s fine. It’s okay. I’m happy for both of you. So…when?

AMELIA. As soon as possible. Andre needs to sell the property first before he can get over to New York.

SAM. Huh. So I’ll have at least a little bit more time to have another Strongbow while I scream about editing to him.

AMELIA. Yeah, you enjoy that while you can.

SAM. No, no. You enjoy being here with him now.

AMELIA. Sam, I…

SAM. Come on. Go hang out with him.

AMELIA. Are you sure?

SAM. Amelia. I’m not a kid anymore. I think I can handle these things on my own.

AMELIA. (Skeptically) Really? Because just a few minutes earlier…

SAM. (Playfully shoves AMELIA) C’mon, we all have our moments, right? Now go spend time with Andre. (AMELIA still hesitates) Go on, get out of here.

(AMELIA finally exits while SAM flips through her poetry book again. She does not see LESLEY enter, stopping a few feet away from SAM and watching her. However, SAM seems to sense her, leaning back in her chair and not looking at her)

SAM. You’re back. (LESLEY does not reply) Want a drink? (Still nothing, stands up) I’ll go get Andre.

LESLEY. Wait. (SAM turns to look at LESLEY) I came to say goodbye.

SAM. (Amused) You already implied you were saying goodbye days ago. What makes you think you have to reiterate it?

LESLEY. That’s not what I meant. I’m going back to Cambridge.

SAM. I see.

LESLEY. And Simon’s coming with me.

SAM. Ah. Can’t let go of a few things, I guess.

LESLEY. (Firmly, resisting emotion) Stop it. …Look. I came here today because I didn’t want us to end things so badly. And I’m sorry that things didn’t turn out the way either of us planned.

SAM. Planned?

LESLEY. Well, I guess neither of us planned anything, but…I mean I’m sorry that both of our wishful thinking didn’t happen.

SAM. What wishful thinking?

LESLEY. That something was there.

SAM. …You…you wanted to be with me?

LESLEY. Well, don’t think you were the first girl I thought I was interested in. Like I said, this whole thing was going on for years. I just didn’t imagine that…

SAM. That it wouldn’t turn out that way for you.

LESLEY. You were…well, you’re just…you’re almost too good to be true. I mean, you’re such an amazing writer. You’re funny. You’re witty.

SAM. I’m also a girl. It’s okay. I know all your reasons. We don’t have to go over them again.

LESLEY. …I’m sorry, Sam. I feel like I led you on. I feel like I gave you false hopes. I didn’t want this to go wrong any more than you did. (Struggling not to cry) Sam, if I could change this, if I could choose to be with you…

SAM. No. No, don’t you ever wish to be like me. You understand? You’re damn lucky you were just curious. You think being gay is an ideology? You think it’s a way of life just like it’s a way of life to become a doctor or a writer or a parent? Well, it’s not like that. I didn’t want to be a lesbian any more than the next person who’s had to come out of the closet and confront those pesky little demons that come with it. Okay?

LESLEY. …Okay.

SAM. Good. And despite the fact that maybe, just maybe my situation is able to give me some dramatic fodder for my books, I stand by what I said. You be happy with what you have and who you are, Lesley. Because God knows that’s what a lot of people like me want the most.

(SAM sits at the table again and looks at her book. LESLEY approaches her)

LESLEY. I also wanted to thank you.

SAM. For what?

LESLEY. For lifting the confusion. For clearing everything up.

SAM. What, about your sexuality? Think nothing of it.

LESLEY. That’s not all I’m talking about. The night you kissed me, the night I blew you off, I went back home to think about everything. Granted, half of that contemplation was me sobbing into a pillow, but what can you do when something you’ve wondered about all these years is just a fascination that needed to be done away with?

SAM. Okay…so…?

LESLEY. Well, then I talked to Simon. I mean, we had a long, long talk. And…that’s when I understood. Sam, you fixed my priorities. You were able to get me to really think about what I really wanted, now that I knew that…

SAM. That you weren’t gay. I get it.

LESLEY. Just listen to me, okay? Right now, I don’t need you to be blunt. (SAM looks at her intently) Now that I knew that I was, well, straight, I understood that…that this is what I want. I want to stay with Simon. I want to see if we can make this whole thing work. Because I think I was right when I said I was pushing him away more than it seemed like he was hurting me.

SAM. …So that’s it, then?

LESLEY. Yeah. That’s it. Congratulations, you were able to save a relationship. (SAM turns back to her book) Oh, Sam…

SAM. Don’t try to comfort me. Okay? You can tell me all you want about how I got you to see the light or make amends or whatever bullshit I may have caused. Don’t you get it? That doesn’t matter to me. (Looks at LESLEY) I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I met you. I may have opened you up, but you opened me up more. You got me to actually embrace all the romantic stuff that I used to criticize. Because I always thought you were more confident than I was. And you know what? Even after all this questioning and drama, you’re still more confident than I’ll ever be. Sure, I may be able to identify what gender I’m drawn to, but even now, I’m not sure about anything I really want…or who I really want. I’ve been dealing with that for years. But you…you gave me the chance to see what I could possibly desire from love, or from life, even if I can never have you. That’s what I admire about you. That’s why…

(SAM falls silent and bites her finger to keep from crying. LESLEY sits down next to her, hesitating before giving her a light kiss on the cheek. SAM looks at her)

SAM. That doesn’t help, you know that, right?

LESLEY. I know. But I figure it’s all I can give to you. Well, that and friendship, but…

SAM. Sure. Friendship. Almost forgot about that little tidbit.

LESLEY. (Trying to be somewhat cheery) Miss Samantha Melick, you are a wonder, a real wonder. (This seems to slightly lighten the mood, and SAM finally gives in as they both hug each other tightly before pulling away) Say you’ll visit me in Cambridge. Promise me.

SAM. I don’t know if I can promise anything like that. Not yet, anyway.

LESLEY. (Prodding) Write to me?

SAM. …Okay. Okay, I’ll do that.

LESLEY. Okay. That’s good enough for now. (Stands up) Remember, I’m being honest when I tell you that you –

SAM. Yeah, I saved your relationship, I know. (Pause) I’m…I’m glad.

LESLEY. You don’t sound glad.

SAM. I know. But I’m really, really trying to be.

LESLEY. Thank you. That means a lot to me. Well…goodbye.

SAM. Goodbye.

(LESLEY starts to walk toward the door when SIMON enters)

LESLEY. Hey. I told you to wait outside.

SIMON. I know. But it’s really drizzly out there. C’mere, sweetie. (Kisses LESLEY and notices SAM as the latter looks away) Hey.

SAM. Hi.

SIMON. I think we got off on the wrong foot a few days ago, and…I wanted to say I’m sorry. I said a lot of terrible things I didn’t mean.

SAM. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have hit you. No black eye, though. That’s a relief.

SIMON. (Chuckles) No, no real damage. Lesley’s told me a lot about you. She’s getting me into your books.

SAM. Nice. Very nice.

LESLEY. Simon…I think we need to go.

SIMON. Hmmm? Oh, right, right. Sorry. Okay. Home first or straight to the station?

LESLEY. Home first. I need to get a few things. (Takes SIMON’S hand as SIMON begins to walk with her until she stops and looks back at SAM) Actually…Sam, if you’d like to join us for a coffee or something, before we go…

SAM. I’m fine. But thank you.

LESLEY. You sure?

SAM. As sure as I’ll ever be.

LESLEY. Well…goodbye, then. Hope to see some e-mail from you, at least.

SAM. Okay.

LESLEY. Oh, and Sam? Can’t wait to see that book get published.

SAM. Hmmm. That makes two of us.

(LESLEY exchanges a look with SIMON before they leave the bar. ANDRE and AMELIA re-enter, looking as if they have been listening in the whole time even though they have their coats)

SAM. So…how do you think I did?

ANDRE. …You knew we were listening, didn’t you?

SAM. It doesn’t take that long to get coats and deal with a power grid. (Pause) Well?

AMELIA. I’m proud of you, Sam. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it like that.

SAM. Well, what else could I do, really? She’s got her boyfriend and that’s that. All she needs from me are the books.

ANDRE. Don’t say that. You guys did decide that you’d be friends, right?

SAM. Easier said than done. So, are we going to go somewhere like we planned?

AMELIA. Sure, if you’re ready.

SAM. Hmmm, well…now that you mention that, I could use some more time. Maybe you guys can bring over the car while I settle a bit.

ANDRE. I’ll go do that. You girls can chat a bit more if you want.

AMELIA. Okay. Thanks, Andre.

ANDRE. (Smiles at AMELIA) Sure, of course.

(He exits as SAM gives AMELIA a look)

SAM. Aw, you guys are so cute that my brain just might melt from all the love.

AMELIA. Well, at least your sarcasm hasn’t left you.

SAM. What sarcasm? I’m happy for you guys. Don’t ever think I’m not.

AMELIA. All right, I believe you. So…you think you’re going to be okay?

SAM. Hmmm? Oh, right. Yeah, I’ll be fine.

AMELIA. You sure?

SAM. Amelia…what else can I do but keep going? I mean, sure, I can never have Lesley, and it hurts. A lot. But she’s taught me a few things about love and confusion and all that fun stuff. And I’m glad I was able to help her, especially when a lot of people weren’t willing to help me when I dealt with my problems.

AMELIA. So what are you going to do?

SAM. What else do you expect? I’m going to stay in Yorkshire and keep publishing books. I love England, Amelia. It’s my home now. I’m sure I can get by even when you and Andre are gone, and hey, it couldn’t hurt for me to make a few friends besides my editor for once.

AMELIA. You mean drinking buddies?

SAM. No, no. I really do mean friends. But now that you mention drinking buddies…

AMELIA. (Teasingly) Sam.

SAM. Yeah, yeah, I got it. Look, my point is that I’m going to be okay. In fact, I’m going to be better than okay. I may not be sure about a lot of things, but I’m sure about this. Yeah, things won’t happen immediately…but then again, what does? I didn’t become a noticeable writer for ages. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes years before I have the possibility of a girlfriend again. And I’m okay with that.

AMELIA. You, of all people, can wait?

SAM. C’mon. Have some faith in me.

AMELIA. (Laughs) Okay, I will. Guess we’ll both have to wait at least a little bit, anyway.

SAM. For what?

AMELIA. For everything to fall into place. I have to wait for Andre for a while, don’t I? And like you said, you have to wait for…well…someone.

SAM. Yeah, but at least you’ve established something.

AMELIA. Maybe. Guess you’ll have to be a little more patient than I am in terms of   getting into a relationship.

SAM. Haven’t I always been, Miss Hopeless Romantic?

(They playfully hit each other before they hug)

AMELIA. I’m going to miss you when I go to New York.

SAM. Hey, don’t start that yet. You’ve still got a few weeks.

AMELIA. I know, but…you’ll visit, right?

SAM. Geez, that makes two people who want me to visit them. Well, I can’t say no to you, now can I?

AMELIA. New York’s a ways away from any sign of Mom, you know. And Dad might visit me too. We can have a little reunion or something like that.

SAM. I know. That’d be really nice, but…I’d just like to finish my book first before traveling anywhere, if that’s okay.

AMELIA. Wow. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say you actually want to finish this book.

SAM. Yeah, I’ve got a dedication for it now.

AMELIA. …You know, for someone who says she hates drama, you are one of the most dramatic people I’ve ever met. …You should take up acting.

(ANDRE enters)

ANDRE. Hey, guys, I brought the car here. Ready to go?

AMELIA. I’m ready. Sam?

SAM. Sure, I guess. Here, you go ahead. I’ll catch up.

(AMELIA looks at her before ANDRE takes her hand and gives her a reassuring look. They exit as SAM sits back in her chair, as MR. MELICK and MRS. MELICK appear silently, though MR. MELICK is smiling at her)

SAM. What are you going to say now, huh? (Smiles at the pause) What’s the matter? Dyke got your tongue?

(MRS. MELICK looks defeated before exiting. MR. MELICK, after checking to make sure his wife is gone, gives SAM a thumbs-up before exiting as well. SAM smiles to herself and starts exiting the bar as the lights dim, while she whistles, “Can’t Hurry Love” as the actual song starts to play overhead)

END ACT THREE

The work you see here has not been edited nor altered since the summer of 2009.