Saturday's Storyteller: "I'm just saying, you could be a slutty gym sock."
by Belinda Roddie
"I'm just saying, you could be a slutty gym sock."
"How."
"If you cut holes in all the right spots."
"Fucking how."
"Just wear all white, dude! And make yourself look all ratty and old and stained. But show off that midriff."
"Dude."
"And accentuate the crotch."
"Dude!"
"I'm just trying to help you out, man! You said you needed costume ideas."
"And the idea you jump to is a slutty gym sock?"
"Hey, man. Strawberry basil margaritas can kick you in the head like an abusive soccer player."
"Wha - okay. Look. No socks. No sluttiness. Just throw out some generic concepts."
"Ew. Boring."
"John."
"Boring! You can't be boring on Halloween."
"Sure I can. Watch me."
"No."
"Get me a white sheet. I'ma be a simple ass ghost."
"No, Aaron."
"I said, fetch me a white sheet!"
"I don't have white sheets."
"Sure you do!"
"They're not white anymore!"
"...Aw, dude!"
"No. No, Aaron. Beer stains. Lots of beer stains."
"...Oh."
"So you can always be a ghost who got a keg poured on him."
"...Uh-huh."
"C'mon, man. Slutty gym sock is where it's at."
"Well, if you're so good at this Halloween thing, what are you going to be?"
"Your worst nightmare."
"...A Chippendale dancer?"
"Nope. That's just my night job."
"John!"
"I'ma be a sexy priest!"
"John!"
"All right, dude. Let's just drag you to a store so you can buy a cheap pirate costume or something."
"Why a pirate?"
"Because I can grab your booty. Duh."
"...Yeah, I can't even be mad at you for that."
"Yep. That was a good one, and you know it."
"I still think going to this Halloween party's a terrible idea."
"Would you rather take your niece trick-or-treating and miss out on my sweet bod?"
"...No. I wouldn't."
"Good boy. Put on some shoes and get the car keys!"
"You're forcing me to do an errand, and you aren't even sober enough to drive."
"All part of a loving relationship, my dear."
"Christ, I can't wait until November 1st."
This week's prompt was jointly provided by Jocelyn Roddie and Arden Roddie.
"I'm just saying, you could be a slutty gym sock."
"How."
"If you cut holes in all the right spots."
"Fucking how."
"Just wear all white, dude! And make yourself look all ratty and old and stained. But show off that midriff."
"Dude."
"And accentuate the crotch."
"Dude!"
"I'm just trying to help you out, man! You said you needed costume ideas."
"And the idea you jump to is a slutty gym sock?"
"Hey, man. Strawberry basil margaritas can kick you in the head like an abusive soccer player."
"Wha - okay. Look. No socks. No sluttiness. Just throw out some generic concepts."
"Ew. Boring."
"John."
"Boring! You can't be boring on Halloween."
"Sure I can. Watch me."
"No."
"Get me a white sheet. I'ma be a simple ass ghost."
"No, Aaron."
"I said, fetch me a white sheet!"
"I don't have white sheets."
"Sure you do!"
"They're not white anymore!"
"...Aw, dude!"
"No. No, Aaron. Beer stains. Lots of beer stains."
"...Oh."
"So you can always be a ghost who got a keg poured on him."
"...Uh-huh."
"C'mon, man. Slutty gym sock is where it's at."
"Well, if you're so good at this Halloween thing, what are you going to be?"
"Your worst nightmare."
"...A Chippendale dancer?"
"Nope. That's just my night job."
"John!"
"I'ma be a sexy priest!"
"John!"
"All right, dude. Let's just drag you to a store so you can buy a cheap pirate costume or something."
"Why a pirate?"
"Because I can grab your booty. Duh."
"...Yeah, I can't even be mad at you for that."
"Yep. That was a good one, and you know it."
"I still think going to this Halloween party's a terrible idea."
"Would you rather take your niece trick-or-treating and miss out on my sweet bod?"
"...No. I wouldn't."
"Good boy. Put on some shoes and get the car keys!"
"You're forcing me to do an errand, and you aren't even sober enough to drive."
"All part of a loving relationship, my dear."
"Christ, I can't wait until November 1st."
This week's prompt was jointly provided by Jocelyn Roddie and Arden Roddie.
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