Saturday's Storyteller: "Honey, that's not mistletoe..."
by Belinda Roddie
"Honey, that's not mistletoe..."
"Don't call me honey."
"That is not mistletoe."
"What?"
"Aaron. I swear to you. That is nooooot mistletoe."
"It's not?"
"No."
"Then what the Hell is it?"
"It's holly."
"What?"
"It's holly. Holly is not mistletoe. Holly is holly."
"I got it from a bin that said 'mistletoe' on it! How is it not mistletoe?!"
"Well, first of all, see the red berries? Mistletoe has white berries."
"..."
"Because it's holly."
"Who puts holly in a mistletoe bin?!"
"I don't know, but either way, we can't get people to kiss under this at the party."
"Fuck, man! C'mon!"
"Sorry, dude."
"I'm not driving back out there. Have you seen the streets?"
"Yep! Winter wonderland set on turbo."
"I've been careening through that nightmarish weather all afternoon."
"Yeah?"
"And you've just been sitting on your ass, drinking butterscotch schnapps."
"Peppermint. I ran out of butterscotch."
"Would you please help me here?"
"Hey. Relax. I'll get Emily to bring mistletoe."
"Okay. Fine. Thank you."
"..."
"...What?"
"Well, what are we supposed to kiss under?"
"Jooooooohn!"
"You have to tell people at some point, man!"
"Just let me get drunk on beer without needing to smooch you!"
"Don't you liiiiike it?"
"John."
"You liiiiike it!"
"...Well, yes, but - "
"Ha!"
"But that's not the point!"
"Then what is the point, Aaron?"
"..."
"..."
"...I just..."
"What?"
"I just..."
"What?!"
"...I'm not sure I'm ready to be public yet."
"...Aaron."
"Yeah."
"I don't want to push you. Really. I don't. But I'm gonna want to kiss you at a Christmas party under the mistletoe some day."
"John."
"Some day. Okay?"
"...Okay."
"Okay."
"Thanks for being patient with me."
"No problem, honey."
"I said don't call me honey!"
"Sugar, then?"
"No."
"Sweetie pie?"
"No."
"Kissing receptacle under the mistletoe?"
"That doesn't sound the least bit appealing!"
"Then kiss me under this holly instead, you handsome devil!"
"Fuck the holly! C'mere!"
"Woo! Merry Christmas to me!"
This week's prompt was provided by Bethany Kilzer.
"Honey, that's not mistletoe..."
"Don't call me honey."
"That is not mistletoe."
"What?"
"Aaron. I swear to you. That is nooooot mistletoe."
"It's not?"
"No."
"Then what the Hell is it?"
"It's holly."
"What?"
"It's holly. Holly is not mistletoe. Holly is holly."
"I got it from a bin that said 'mistletoe' on it! How is it not mistletoe?!"
"Well, first of all, see the red berries? Mistletoe has white berries."
"..."
"Because it's holly."
"Who puts holly in a mistletoe bin?!"
"I don't know, but either way, we can't get people to kiss under this at the party."
"Fuck, man! C'mon!"
"Sorry, dude."
"I'm not driving back out there. Have you seen the streets?"
"Yep! Winter wonderland set on turbo."
"I've been careening through that nightmarish weather all afternoon."
"Yeah?"
"And you've just been sitting on your ass, drinking butterscotch schnapps."
"Peppermint. I ran out of butterscotch."
"Would you please help me here?"
"Hey. Relax. I'll get Emily to bring mistletoe."
"Okay. Fine. Thank you."
"..."
"...What?"
"Well, what are we supposed to kiss under?"
"Jooooooohn!"
"You have to tell people at some point, man!"
"Just let me get drunk on beer without needing to smooch you!"
"Don't you liiiiike it?"
"John."
"You liiiiike it!"
"...Well, yes, but - "
"Ha!"
"But that's not the point!"
"Then what is the point, Aaron?"
"..."
"..."
"...I just..."
"What?"
"I just..."
"What?!"
"...I'm not sure I'm ready to be public yet."
"...Aaron."
"Yeah."
"I don't want to push you. Really. I don't. But I'm gonna want to kiss you at a Christmas party under the mistletoe some day."
"John."
"Some day. Okay?"
"...Okay."
"Okay."
"Thanks for being patient with me."
"No problem, honey."
"I said don't call me honey!"
"Sugar, then?"
"No."
"Sweetie pie?"
"No."
"Kissing receptacle under the mistletoe?"
"That doesn't sound the least bit appealing!"
"Then kiss me under this holly instead, you handsome devil!"
"Fuck the holly! C'mere!"
"Woo! Merry Christmas to me!"
This week's prompt was provided by Bethany Kilzer.
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