Saturday's Storyteller: If I Had A Son

If I Had A Son
by Belinda Roddie

If I had a son, I would love him unconditionally - be he cis or trans, be he straight or gay, be he bi or pan, be he so far along the spectrum that he glinted rainbow while standing in sunlight - I'd love him, and that is that.

If I had a son, and if he liked sports and video games and bro stuff jacked on steroids, then I'd play catch with him in the park, watch monster truck shows with him, and play the latest Call of Duty until my thumbs were sore - because I'd love him, and that is that.

If I had a son, and if he wanted to dress up as princesses every Halloween, and if he wanted his room painted pink and his fingernails red and his mascara on point, then I'd bow before his majesty, help him with polish, and have his mother teach him how to properly use eye shadow so he'd look like true royalty - because I'd love him, and that is that.

Because love of child stems from more than gender, and love of child stems more from society. Love of child transcends the physical, nestling into the pillow fort of the emotional and mental. I'd love my child as a son or daughter, as feminine or masculine, despite the patriarchy's iron fist and despite the anxiety from those who falsely believe I'd condemn either male or female traits - 'cause god damn it, it's about the person, not the construct.

I'd allow my son to feel.

I'd allow my son to cry.

I'd allow my son to speak.

I'd allow my son to pine.

I'd allow my son to weak.

I'd allow my son to be strong.

I'd allow my son to scream.

I'd allow my son to write songs.

Because fuck toxic masculinity.

Fuck botched expectations.

Let my boy show sensitivity.

Let my boy choose therapy and meditation.

We'll play baseball and watch Disney movies.

We'll make fart jokes and swap gossip.

We'll tell stories and make promises.

My future child, I love you, no matter what.

No matter what false notions my family has.

No matter what questions my friends pose.

No matter what bullshit is fed through a clogged funnel.

I love you no matter what.