My Cardboard Balcony

by Belinda Roddie The magic word is "pinecone." Once you say it, the door opens, and you are confronted by two guards. If either one of them challenges you on the fact that "pine cone" is actually two words, mace them and then use the taser while they're blinded. You will find the taser under the blue rock in front of the drawbridge to the castle. Do not look under the red rock because there is no taser there. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the red rock merely hosts a colony of angry fire ants. The green rock opens a portal to the diamond queen's dimension and should not be touched. There is no purple rock. So don't even try. Once you have passed the guards, you are free to climb the stairwell to the prince's bedroom. The prince is genderfluid - they go by they/them pronouns. The diamond queen is not fond of progressive gender rights and consequently has secluded herself in her own dimension. Under the green rock. Which you were not supposed...

There was purple dye in her hair, spikes on her jacket, and lots and lots of patches representing different metal bands on her jeans. She stood in line at the coffee shop and examined her fingernails, which were painted very, very black. I hadn't seen a look like this since 2004, when I was in high school. I guess we could call it a classic aesthetic now, and I'll admit, she pulled it off well. Really well.

Honestly, I keep forgetting how fast a week can pass me by. I felt like my spring break would feel like a long reprieve, and at the beginning, it did. Now it's already Friday, and I only have a weekend before I return to work. As much as I was planning to relax or do a little bit of outside work, I unfortunately didn't get to do much of either. While I did try to take it easy and do some personal writing and not focus too much on the almost finished yearbook, I was mostly on edge - stressed out or feeling like I wasn't being productive enough. It was so bizarre to me to just see my once busy schedule screech to a halt. I did manage to take care of a few things, but not everything. I still have to take my car in, take care of flights for weddings, do some heavy duty grading - where did all the time go? Don't get me wrong - I had a lovely time with my in-laws and my wife last weekend. We got to see old friends at a garden party. My mother-in-law held a lovely seder. E...

World Without Facts by Belinda Roddie I couldn't verify anything now. Not even my own name.

You Will Oblige by Belinda Roddie You will oblige my simple requests, dear, or else I'm sure you'll get the whip again. We are a civilized family here, and we deserve the very best treatment, as close to being waited on both hand and foot as we can possibly allow. You'll pour my tea, leave it on the night stand, and let it cool so that my feeble brow does not sweat when I at last take a sip of the meek brew. You'll read me a story each night so I can more easily slip into a dreamless sleep. My husband? He can wait outside the room. Now we're alone, and every part of you is mine to own.